My Own Project 365:Looking at Myself

I’ve been seeing a lot of ‘projects’ going around.  Some writing, some photography.  Some for 30 days. Some are once a week.  Some are once a day.  They all intrigue me and yet I couldn’t pick one to sign onto.  Partly because I’m horrible at sticking with something EVERY /insert whatever time frame you want/.  I get sidetracked and miss a week/day/month/what-have-you and get discouraged.  On the other side, I get really into it and want to do twenty in a day. 

Enter my own project.  Loose rules.  Loose timing.  Loose- just like me.  Wait, that’s not right.  Anyway, to coincide with some HUGE changes I’m finally making in my life, I’ve decided to take a look at myself.  A brutally honest look.  I’m doing this figuratively and literally.  My goal is to take 365 pictures of myself, post them in groups or individually and write about what they say about me.  I am giving myself a year…but I’m not forcing them into any set time frame.  They will most likely come in bursts and there will likely be long droughts.  

Right.  So, for the first one. 

This is likely the most honest picture I’ve ever posted of myself. I’d spent the last 4 hours crying.  Pulling at my hair, nose gushing sobbing.  My in-computer camera turned itself on, as it is in some odd habit of doing, and I saw this.  This is who I’ve been the last few weeks.  I’ve been stressed more than I’ve ever been.  I’m choosing to be happy.  Choosing to do what’s best for me and yet…it’s breaking my heart at the same time.

About liferepressed

* I write because I don't like who I am when I stay silent. I write because I'd rather give up breathing than writing. I don't claim to be good, but I claim to try. I hope to make people think, to consider the state of their own lives. I try to write about things that matter. Not everything I write is serious, though, as laughing matters. I write and hope you will read.
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16 Responses to My Own Project 365:Looking at Myself

  1. I just wanted you to know. This is the most beautiful, honest picture I have seen. I can’t wait to see the rest. 🙂

  2. @AfraidToSeeBeautiful – aw, thank you.  I appreciate that comment.

  3. Sounds like a fun/interesting project. Honest pictures are hard to come by these days, but I think you’ve got one here.

  4. You deserve to be happy!  I wish you well in the upcoming few weeks and months in your life.

  5. I think this is a great idea.  Choosing to be happy can be heartbreaking, but worth it.  Good luck!  Hugs

  6. I hope to see a smiling photo from you soon.

  7. @PeriwinkleAdonis – yeah, it’s hard not to try and turn the right way, suck in this, push out that so that we look our best.  But with this one, I didn’t even bother moving from the light behind me.@Roadlesstaken – Thanks, Alex.@TheSeventhRhapsody – Thanks, Melissa.  I appreciate it.@TheTheologiansCafe – It may be awhile, but you might see one eventually.

  8. MisterWriter says:

    I hope you do get happy and start feeling positive about yourself and your situation. 

  9. @MisterWriter – Thanks, it’s a scary process but I think it’ll be worth it. I hope it will be.

  10. i made a very hard decision once that i ended up battling for years – literally.  through the tears, the back-and-forths, and returning to old habits someone once said to me, “the hardest decisions to make are the right decisions.  it’s okay to struggle, but you’ll respect yourself more for it one day.”  turns out he was right.  i believe you can choose happiness.  good luck with that decision.  hope everything works out for the best of you.

  11. This is a very honest post. I like your idea, sounds cool. I wish I could do something like this, I probably could but I can’t stand my own picture lol. Best of luck to you!

  12. Good luck with everything you do. Start feeling better, it just takes time.

  13. 100 words worth but some of them are ROTTEN (or real frowners!) micheiviousness mmight help!  “I don’t wanna grow up ’cause if I did?  I couldn’t be a toys R us kid….I’d just have to pay for them…grumble.

  14. Crushpuppy says:

    yes transitions can be hard, but it sounds like you’ve made the right decision. Take comfort in the fact that it will get better, now that you’ll be getting out of that old rut.

  15. Crushpuppy says:

    “No smile is more beautiful than the one that struggles through tears”

  16. ZeNMuSiCa says:

    A good pic, a girl like you deserves every happiness there is. Cheer up! Don’t waste beauty… 

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